Divorce is a major change for your children: be there for them

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Divorcing with children is extremely difficult, especially when parents cannot seem to reach an agreement because both of them want full custody. Some of them do not even hesitate to use personal information about their ex partner and the ability of their lawyer to manipulate family law in order to achieve their objective. The chaos of divorce wraps their mind and petrifies their heart. Otherwise, there is no explanation for the obvious negligence of the most precious and vulnerable factor caught in the middle of it all, namely the children. In other cases, parents themselves experience anxiety and depression caused by divorce thus forgetting about the feelings of the little ones. Consequently, kids inevitably become the main victims of their parents’ separation, which can lead to serious psychological changes. As an adult, at least you understand the situation and you can find the strength to move on, but your minor children do not have your maturity so the entire situation confuses them. They feel sad, lost and forgotten.

Show your children that you still have a positive relationship with the ex spouse

Indeed, a divorce procedure is complicated, stressful and time-consuming, from selecting and hiring a good divorce lawyer to dealing with your own emotions. However, you cannot simply overlook the needs of your children. In fact, you have to be there for them at every step, both physically and emotionally. Let them know that you are willing to clear their doubts, help them understand this unfortunate stage of their lives, be honest and open. They want to see a friend in you, not just a parent. Do not let them feel alone and overwhelmed. Trying to hide the divorce is pointless, especially if you are dealing with teenagers. Of course, do not expect them to accept the situation easily, but as long as you strive to maintain a good relationship with your ex spouse and prove them that you get along just fine, they will no longer view your separation as a threat to their safety and well-being. Moreover, they will not feel abandoned by one of the parents. Speaking of your ex spouse, make sure that you never speak bad about him or her in front of the kids. You had your problems and arguments, but they have nothing to do with your differences.

Know how to recognize potential short-term effects of divorce on your children

As already mentioned, your children may not handle divorce very well meaning that they might display a different behavior and use a different language, especially in your presence. They need to express their feelings, even if negative and you have to allow it. As long as they do not disrespect you or your ex spouse, they are harmless. If you know how to read the signs, you can immediately take action. For instance, if your kids experience irritability and mood swings, constant stress and intense sadness, anxiety and disillusion, you should be aware that these represent effects that divorce can have on short term on children. Regardless of the situation, continue to be a good parent and avoid custody disputes.

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